Things Overheard at a Cheerleading Practice.

While taking my elementary daughter to one of her last days of cheer camp, a note was taped to the door:

Dear Parents:

Please sign in your children, and please do not wait in the gymnasium.  We are practicing for our end of camp presentation, and would like for it to be a surprise for you.  Please feel free to utilize the parish hall while you wait.

Thank you!


Not a big deal I think, as I sign my daughter in. While doing so, I notice another little girl is not too keen on the idea of her mother not sitting in on the practice, and is expressing her displeasure by crying near the bleaches. The coaches are talking to her, her mother is doing the same, and the girl seems to be upset. Not a big deal, in my mind, as I am surprised that my daughter is not doing the same. With that, I take my notebook and camp chair and set up my mobile office just outside the gym doors in the shade to collect my thoughts on paper.

Fifteen minutes later, the door slams open:

“You are the biggest FUCKING baby on the God Damn planet!”

The mother is furious, and is dragging the crying cheerleader from earlier out into the parking lot.
“I’m sorry Mommy!” Tears are flowing as she is essentially being dragged to the waiting minivan.
“No the fuck you are not!” Is the only reply the mother gives, as she arrives at the minivan with it’s door remotely opened, and proceeds to place the seven year old into the van with a well placed toss.

Ten minutes later, the duo walk hand in hand back into the gymnasium, and the mother notices that I have been sitting and observing this entire time, and looks well deservedly mortified.

After the practice was over, I gave my daughter a bear hug and told her I loved her.

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